RSVP? e-Harmony? Those sites aren’t for me. Twitter on the other hand, it’s a goldmine of flirty men with public displays of retweet affection.
My twitter-man-catch of a story begins at Byron Burger (that’s basically Grilled or Fancy Hungry Jacks for the Aussies) on a Saturday night very, very, hungover. Not even a skerrick of makeup on, for the public viewing of my face. You see none of us have cars in London for drive-thru so you have to go out and show the too-many-gin-face-of-carnage when you want hangover grease.
While I waited for my friend in my post vodka, hangover, rosy cheeked, sweating state, I flirted outrageously with the manager who I quickly discovered just happened to be from Melbourne aswell. Go team!
Then my friend got there so he went away. We inhaled burgers, drank wine (I know, I know, I said I was hungover five seconds ago) and I tried to avoid eye contact with him the remainder of the hour – as I wasn’t even wearing MASCARA!
One hair of the dog later and I’m giggling like a teenager and have aptly named him ‘Byron’. By Sunday night I’m eager to return to flirt more with some foundation on but that’s a little desperate and would start to make me fat.
With stalking feelers in full effect, I stupidly realise I didn’t even get a name – so there goes looking for friends in common from Melbourne on Facebook. Next stop, Linked-in; Melbourne + Byron Burger. No dice. Am I up to level six on your creep-o-meter yet?
So instead I search for Byron Burger and tweet at them. With a totally cool, non-desperate tweet I might add:
Following morning Byron Burger replies to me and @’s in the Earl’s Court manager’s twitter so he can see my embarrassing tweet. Social media just bit me on the ass:
But then… The Earls Court manager tweeted back at me:
Me dying of embarrassment, but also clapping my hands with glee at the fact that this ludicrous, burger stalk idea actually worked, immediately decides if that first tweet didn’t scare him off then let’s turn up the grill a notch. By replying to any tweet he made with ‘bend & snap’ obvious flirting. Even if it didn’t make sense and sounded stupid, which is what normal drunk flirting sounds like anyway:
And it goes on – seriously even I don’t know what I was insinuating here:
Then BAM! He DM’d (Direct Message) me his number and asked me out. Brilliant Byron-Burger-success – I got a date through Twitter:
So dating followed and lets just say it didn’t end in monogrammed burger towels (though I did get a few free burgers). No more twitter dating for me – I’ve moved onto far superior forms of social network dating these days – Instagram: It’s the new e-Harmony but with photos of their beer, dinner and pets.