“Dave likes you, he said to give you his number.” Me: ”Who’s Dave?” Now most of you probably think I’m being a vacant cow and can’t remember which guy I was talking to last night. But I’m not. I never even spoke to him, a quick stalk through Facebook drew short straws on all whiskey-sour-accounts. Moo.

This Dave guy liked the look of me last night and thought the best approach would be to ignore me and ‘phone-a-friend’. Well played Who-wants-to-be-a-millionaire-Dave – I hope that’s your ‘final answer’ for a flat white with one when it’s just you, me and that overzealous Melbourne barista.

So ‘let’s ask the audience’ – I’ve been told I’m unapproachable, gosh knows why?! I smile at everything, seriously everything. I’ll smile at a good looking pole. So maybe this was the ’50/50 chance’ case – well buy some shots in the form of courage son. Wouldn’t he like to hear my voice? My outrageous laugh? Or see if I had a bung eye?! (swear it only happens when I’m drunk). I get a bit miffed when guys take an interest because they like what they see as opposed to having a chat and seeing what makes me tick. I’m not a pretty thing for your arm – that’s called a watch. Tick tock, you see what I did there?

We’re attracted by looks – well derr. And don’t get me wrong, I need physical attraction too – no-one likes to bump uglies with ugly. But we’ve all heard the saying looks fade; hair falls out, wrinkles settle in and boobs sag. (I hear the  fake ones too!). Well by silicon-or-saline-sure you’d better hope that attraction keeps you going an ugly-long-time.

I’ve been out with guys I was only physically attracted to – it didn’t get past the hmm-he-doesn’t-find-me-funny-first-minute. If physical attraction is all you’ve got, that’s about as useless as a g-string on a Kardashian’s ass – lost in seconds. Unless you’re only looking for a one night affair – then carry on Kimbo.

For me it comes down to personality – if I like that, then I like them. Give me a good personality any day over a male-version-Miranda-Kerr. So, stop thinking I’m shallow as a six pack and introduce yourself Dave. Because you never know, you may walk away thinking… ‘Hey I just met her and she’s bat-shit crazy.’

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